The Weekend In Numbers

Chandeliers considered for breakfast nook: five hundred three.

Chandeliers acquired for breakfast nook: zero.

Pairs of pants tried on, barely buttoned, and shucked off in disgust: four.

Pairs of pants that actually fit me: one.

Pairs of pants that actually fit me that were not Rob's old sweat pants: zero.

Number of times I cursed pre-menstrual bloating: eighteen.

Rooms cleaned out, dusted, and currently empty, awaiting painters: two.

Number of foreign objects, displaced from said rooms and huddling together in a furniture refuge camp in the living room: dozens.

Family dinners: two.

Splinters removed from my father-in-law by me: one.

Pee messes the small dog made in the in-law's house, ON CARPET: one.

Vomit messes the small dog made in the car: one.

Wii acquisition missions attempted: one.

Wiis acquired: zero.

Number of people waiting in line for Wiis at Target on Sunday morning: fifty to sixty.

Number of Wiis in their shipment: eight.

Number of people waiting in line for Wiis at Walmart on Sunday morning: a few.

Number of Wiis in their shipment (despite advertising): zero.

Chances of me scoring a Wii before Christmas, as a guess: one in four.