I'm Gonna Get Get Get You Drunk...

New linkers added to the side bar. I have made an effort to seek out new blogs and found some cool ones.

<----- cool new blogs under "soul food".

Yesterday I bought a veil, which made me feel pretty. Then we (me, Stu!, and Jen) went to Macy's to get me fat-squishing underwear. That's when the pretty feeling stopped.

I'll say it: I'm chubby! It's ok, I just need some good "foundation garments" (torture devices) to keep everything running smoothly.

I tried on something that went from under my boobs to mid-thigh. I had been here before, when I tried on some other brand a few months ago. This one was called a "Miracle Suit", so I had high hopes of divine intervention. I shimmied into it.

It was pretty scary. My un-lovely lady lumps were still there, just squished tight under nude spandex. Miracle? No. More like demonic forces manifested in undergarments. I began to giggle. It was a mess!

"Let us see!" cried the bridesmaids, and when I refused to dispose completely of my dignity by presenting myself in unflattering undergarments, the mean one stuck my camera phone under the door and attempted to take pictures.

I removed the sausage casing, and the blood began flowing back through my adipose tissue.

I think I'm going to need a pro for this.