My Brother Likes to Masturbate with Baby Oil*

Like, seriously. Next year? Thanksgiving with just me and my husband sounds REALLY REALLY GOOD.

We went to my grandmother's first. My mother is a blunt person, and my aunt is sensitive, so it was kind of tense. Everyone agreed that the cranberry sauce my aunt made (sugar-free) was a great idea to try out (less sugar is good, right?) but, in the taste department, sucked big hairy balls. When my mother said it, though, she said, "Ooooo! Not good at all!" and made a lemon face. Blunt. My aunt was like, "Oh! I'm so insulted!"

Then, my mother said to everyone, "Help clean up and YOU GO SIT DOWN!", the last part being directed at my grandmother who never relaxes, and really should. Again, blunt. So, we all got up, my brother was like, "Ber, wa'shouIdo?" so I directed him around the kitchen ("Ok, now that you put it in the tupperware, put the top on... Good! Ok, now put it in the refridgerator! Good!") and I directed the little cousins a bit too. My aunt didn't move, so my mother (Blunt.) was like, "Aren't you going to help, too?" and my aunt was all, "Oh, now you sound just like dad!" (who was a raging alcoholic) and I'm like, "Shut the fuck up, Whiney Pants, and load the fucking dishwasher." I didn't say it, but I thought it.

I did NOT want to jam my butter knife through my aunt's husband's heart this year, which is a massive improvement. He's actually gotten agreeable as of late. I dunno what changed. Maybe he just learned to keep his mouth shut around me. We used to snip at each other through dinner, and by pie time, I'd be calculating how to kill him with the turkey fork.

I went to my in-laws; I didn't want to cause a scene and figured not going would cause more of a stir than showing up and sticking to the many cool relatives Rob has who aren't crazy. Plus, it meant a lot to Rob that I was there. His "It means a lot to me." goes pretty far with me, even if he doesn't say it, and lord knows I put him through enough on a day to day basis to suck it up once in a while and spend a few hours with his nut-bag parents (said as warmly as possible). We slept at his brother's house, not his parents, so it was bearable.

Wednesday morning: beautiful. Friday morning: gorgeous. Thusday morning? The morning I spent standing outside for two hours watching the parade? The morning that, of all mornings, I would have liked to have at least half-way decent weather? Downpour. I was soaked and cold and wet, even though I had lots of layers. I'm never going in the rain again.

Even though I had planned to sleep in this morning, I got up with Rob at 5:30 and we were in Best Buy by 6:10, scoring 2GB flashdrives for $30! (Normally over $100). It was kind of fun; I'd never gotten up early on Black Friday and gone shopping before. The line was all around the store, but the general mood was upbeat and cheerful, which I didn't expect. I guess you kind of grit your teeth and know it's going to be hectic, and then you deal.

I'm really tired; we're heading to my grandma's for left overs. The wedding is still in limbo... I'm so tired of thinking about it. What will happen remains to be seen.

*Not MY brother... *sigh*