Thoughts On The Bridesmaids

My mother-in-law was wondering why I didn't invite her daughter to be a bridesmaid. "After all," she said, "she's Rob's sister!"

It hadn't even occured to me.

Rob's wedding party has his brother, cousin, four best friends from high school, and his dearest friend from the five-year-old class at Hebrew Camp. His brother and oldest friend are co-Best Men.

My brother is a "bridesmaid"; he'll wear the same thing the guys do, of course, but he'll stand next to me. (I can't tell you how many times I've been asked, "Is he going to wear a dress?") My other bridesmaids are ladies that are close to me; their gender is not a consderation at all. They just happen to be all female! But, if Jen were "John", she would still be my honor attendant.

Now, I get it. I saw Fiddler on the Roof. I know all about the Jews and their "TRADITIOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!"

"The girls ask the girls and the guys ask the guys." my mother-in-law pointed out. "That's the way you do it!"

I have another Jewish saying for you: Tradition Shma-dition. If anyone should have invited Rob's sister to be in the wedding party, it should have been Rob; that's my conviction and I'm sticking to it.

Am I in the vast minority? Yes. Do I give a crap? Heh. Do I ever?

I don't like the gender breakdown of most modern weddings, or even the general modern thoughts about having a wedding party. You're my bridesmaid because I love you! No other reason! (Well, that, and because someone needs to help me assmeble 200 programs.) I hear stories of brides picking maids based on how pretty they are.* Girls saying to their wedding party, "You must wear your hair this way". Even my own dear sister, who weds in July, is fretting because she has more groomsmen than ladies. Silly silly!

It's all hogwash I won't have anything to do with it. For that reason, too, I will not be pairing ladies in the wedding party with gentlemen they don't know (or, um, don't like. *cough, cough* Stu. *cough*) What's the point of that anyway? Warding off evil spirits, right? Some ancient Greek thing or something. Well, Ppppppth! I don't believe in them! So there.

What worried me was that she didn't mention Rob's sister-in-law (Rob's brother's wife) who I happen to be a LOT closer to than his sister (although I like his sister just fine). It says to me that she doesn't really equate her with "family", which means she might not equate ME with "family"... and that's a problem.

*All my bridesmaids are super cute! I just lucked out on that one.