Hairy Issues

My grandmother asked me today if I could tease her hair in the back.

"Sure!" I said, and stuck my tongue out.

She didn't get it.


Her problem is that her hair, which was thin before, is really really thin now because of her face-lift. The anesthesia, apparently, makes hair fall out.

"Thinning hair" is the nice thing to say. She almost looks bald up top. Not that I'd ever tell her. I used her "teasing comb" (the one she had since well before I was born) to muss her hair up underneath and then smooth it on top so it looked like a nice, full head of hair. I pushed the fine, staticy strands one way, then the other. I piled them up, and they fell over. Then they all stuck to the comb. I stepped back.

"Oh. Oh dear." I said.


"Mmm... I'm, um, going to try again, ok? It's not quite what I think you want."

What I really wanted to say was that she looked like she stuck her finger in a light socket, and I'm not exaggerating, either.

I un-mussed and re-mussed, and pushed and pulled, and stepped back again.

"Well?" she asked.

You look bald,
I thought. "Not quite." I said.

Eventually we got it looking alright, but I don't think I'm going to make a career out of being a hairdresser any time soon.