I Can Now Face the Day on Legal Speed (the American Way)
A few days ago, Jen called me at 11:30 and asked if I wanted to get lunch with her and Emily. I don't admit this a lot, but there are days where I don't actually "start my day" until around noon, and on this day I was still in jammas, un-showered, and catching up on laundry and blogs. I was beginning to think about breakfast, but when she called me for lunch, I rushed to put myself together and skipped the coffee. I was fine until we got up to leave; I hit the parking lot and suddenly my car seemed reeeeaaaalllly far away. My feet felt like bricks, and I got hot and sweaty. A dull throbbing started in my head, and I turned to say something to Jen, but I couldn't remember her name for a few seconds. I got a little scared.
"What the hell is wrong with me?!" I thought, until I realized I was uncaffinated and not doing so well with the functioning properly. I backed out of the parking spot backwards, and had to pull back in and out again, so the front of my car was point towards the exit. Back at home I made myself a cup of coffee, had a sip, and immediately felt better.
This wasn't the first time I've had a bad reaction to no caffeine. We spent last year's Yom Kippur at my in-law's house, and I didn't want to be disrespectful by making myself a cup of coffee. By noon I was barely keeping my shit together, and around 2 pm I locked myself in the bathroom and sobbed hysterically on the floor, cursing the Jewish God and life in general. I wanted to die. (I eventually left and went and bought myself a cup of coffee. I'm not Jewish, and my mental sanity comes second to nothing, even tradition.)
Conclusion: I'm not giving up caffeine for my cleanse. Like, there's no fucking way. I have a life to live, and while I'm sure I CAN break my caffeine addiction, I'm not really interested in doing it now. My one cup a day doesn't seem to be hurting me; I'm not an excess drinker. I'm going to switch to a rice milk creamer to keep with the "avoiding animal products" part of it (thanks, Najla, for mentioning it. I did some soy + estrogen research and let's just say what I came up with was SKEERY! Rice milk would have never occurred to me.) I'll deal with not having sugar in it.
The countdown continues; I have a great rice and beans recipe from Jen and have been encouraged in the ways of tofu by G.