New Carness

And you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile
And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful [soon-to-be husband]
And you may ask yourself: "well...how did I get here?"

We have a very new, very very orange car. And I love it. I've never had a new car before, and it's amazing. It smells new, it drives like a monorail, and nothing rattles, clicks, shakes, shivers or chuga-chugas. It looks like a gigantic insect, and turns a lot of heads. Sadly, our HHR has the nicest stereo we own; it's like a sound chamber with a killer bass.

I can finally put all the people who have driven me around for years in MY car, which is awesome because Stu!'s car is manual and the shifting in traffic makes me car sick (no fault of hers) and Jen yells at everyone on the road (normally? mellow. driving? um. not so mellow.), which makes me a nervous wreck. My grandmother doesn't brake until she's thisclose to the car in front of her (my grandfather used to pound the floor with his foot and go "JUNE! JUNE! USE THE FUCKING BRAKE!" and she would say, "RON, I SEE THE DARN CAR!" [because 'darn' is as bad as it gets with my grandmother] and then she'd go SCREEEEEEECH-ing to a halt and turn to my grandfather and primly spit out a, "See?" and he would look at her, shake his head, and take the lord's name in vain), and my aunt's car smells like french fries.

I have a new car, and a great house and Dog&Dog and Rob and we're getting married and I'm so excited and I'm so lucky and seriously? I'm happier than you are.