How I Was Double Unlucky

Sunday, we went to Mohegan Sun and met Rob's parents there; they were on a trip with a bunch of people.

Rob's dad said to him, "Let's go play blackjack." Rob's mom took my elbow. "The girls will play the slots!" she announced, definitively, and without any input from me. Apparently, she didn't need it. I shot Rob a look of panic, and he stepped to my side. "You going to be ok?" he asked. The three of them stared at me, awaiting an answer, so I forced a grin, and nodded. Rob laced his fingers through mine and whispered, "Squeeze if you're lying." I nearly broke his hand. Not that it mattered... fate had decided my... fate.

So the girls played slots, and I didn't have any luck with those either. I don't even like gambling, at least not with my money. Especially not when it's a slot machine; you sit there watching these wheels spin and hope that they land in the right magic combination... which it hardly ever did. We quickly burned through a substantial amount of dollars, and found "the boys" at a blackjack table.

At dinner, Rob mentioned something about my job, and his mother perked up as I explained what I do.

"At least you're not doing nothing now!"

I glared at her, picturing all of the laundry I've done, tubs I've scrubbed, dinners I've made, recipes I've attempted, failed and modified, dust bunnies I've conquered, drawers I've rearranged... do you get the point? I spoke carefully, to disguise the fact that I wanted to rip her head off.

"I certainly never 'did nothing'." [side note: if I ever put "certainly" in a sentence, I'm really pissed.]

I gave her the mild version of my pissy face, so I could be as un-rude as possible while still dropping the hint that she was out of line.

She didn't get it. "Well, what I mean is now you're earning your keep, and I feel better knowing you're working!"

"I certainly earned my keep, and why on earth would you care if I was working or not?" My teeth were clenched so tight I had fillings starting to pop out.

"You don't have a job you know." Of all people, my father-in-law stepped to my rescue. And then we went back to gambling, and Rob was blissfully unaware of anything until I pulled him aside and dumped it all on him.

This is the rest of my life.