New Year, New Blog

i need a new blog. i was kind of thinking along the lines of, "it's probably not the best idea to have my first and last name as my url"(and no, my name isn't changing in May), and then a recent "Dear Abby" column gave me another good reason to change: potential employeers need only plug your first and last name into Google to find stuff out about you, and I certainly don't want to be googled back to this site if someone is going to hire me for any sort of job.

Also, I'm taking a clue from Rockstar Mommy who is private about details for the sake of her kids. I figure if I switch now, most if not all links to this site will be dead by the time they come along and go to school.

even though I'm not a hard core blogger with tons of readers, I still think it's a good idea. so I need a catchy title to describe it.

I was trying to think of things that are ME to me. (Make sense?) Like, I know I'm a lot of things to a lot of people but I don't know what I am to myself (except, at the moment, a self-masturbatory blogger. This whole "what am I to me" stuff is making me sick to my stomach, even though I know you can't blog without pretension. Still. I hate being pretentious. And it is something I've been thinking about for a while. Anyhow... Sorry.)

I don't think I'm anything to myself. Like, I don't sit around wondering, "What am I?" The sum of my parts? What? Doesn't work for me. I am no distinct race, religion, or heritage. Not that those things would define me, but they seem to work for other people as definitions. I am a female. So are 3 billion other people, give or take. I am a wife. Kind of. Almost. Not yet, but I will be, so maybe that's who I am, but really? The day I define myself solely as Rob's wife, I'm getting a divorce for the sake of saving myself.

I am. What? Dunno. Never really thought about it. So I thought about it. And I realized that the closest I ever get to "looking at myself" is when I'm squinting in the mirror, trying to get my eyeliner perfect. Introspection doesn't suit me. Is that bad? Ancient peoples didn't introspect, they worried about getting eaten by lions, and harvesting vegetables, and they lived just fine. So did the colonists, and the cavemen, and the Mayas. I wish I was an ancient peoples. People? Person. Whatever.

Maybe my new blog should take a different direction, where I try to find myself, and I can call it, "Finding Amber"... but wait... did you just throw up in your mouth a bit? Yeah, so did I.

So I don't know. But yeah. New blog. Nothing different. Just a different url. Any suggestions?


Ahem. Thanks.

Oh, and Merry Christmas!