I'm Dreading David's Bridal

This morning at eleven, Jen, Stu and I are going to David's Bridal to look at bridesmaid dresses. I had made it for 10:30, but Stu couldn't make it until 11, so I called and bumped up the appointment, and without really thinking too hard about it I added, "Oh, can I look at bridal stuff while I'm there, too?"

I'm still keeping my appointment in the city, but I figured I'd look, just to see.

"YOU DON'T HAVE YOUR DRESS YET?!"

These bridal shop ladies take things like this seriously.

"Um. I still have six months..."

"THAT'S NOT ENOUGH TIME! MOST BRIDES HAVE THEIR DRESSES BY NOW! WE'RE MOVING YOU TO THE BRIDE SECTION!"

By this time I had a lump in my throat. I hate trying on wedding dresses. If my ta-tas weren't the size of watermelons, I might enjoy it... if they banished every size 2 bride from any store I'm in, I might get into it... but they are and no one does, so I just don't like the process.

"I just want to look..."

"YOU HAVE TO PICK OUT A DRESS BEFORE THE BRIDESMAIDS! THEY DON'T WORK AROUND YOU! YOU WORK AROUND THEM!"

Then she switched tones as she began furiously penciling me into the "bride section".

"Ooos da bwide! Ooos got to have oos dwess!"

Baby talk.

I nearly fell over.

What have I done?