I'm So Emo

For some random reason I'm scheduled for a ton of hours this week at Starbucks. Good for my paycheck, bad for my sanity. REALLY bad for my sanity.

I almost killed myself in my car today when I had to swerve; someone came in my lane to get around a mail truck. The lack of power steering means a lack of swerveability (is that a word?), and I narrowly missed a head-on collision. I freaked out and called my mom, who told me to drop it off and my dad would look at it, so it's there for now. I got home and fell asleep immediately because I don't sleep well at night anymore when I have to open Starbucks the next morning. I used to wake up just fine (ok, with minimal bitching), but now that it's December, it's so dark when I get up that I wake up every two hours freaking out thinking that I've slept through my alarm. In the summer it was almost kind of nice to be up just as the sun was peeking over the hills and turning everything a pretty dusty pinky blue, but now it's just black and cold.

I try to console myself about crawling out of bed every morning with the thought of a nap later on, but really, a nap takes place when it's light out, and I'd like to be functioning like everyone else who has a normal life instead of in a drooly afternoon coma. Also, it makes the bed smell like coffee because, as Amachai has discovered, you can't avoid reeking at the end of your shift. Worst of all, at noon there is not warm boy goodness in bed, so my feet get cold.

I took a nap anyway, and when I got up I was super cranky becuase of all the working and the car, and I hadn't had anything to eat, so I sat down in the middle of the living room (on Clyde, the computer monitor, who is still in the middle of the fucking living room) and cried. I cried and cried and cried and cried and cried, and now my face is all crusty. Sexy, huh?