My Halloween

Yesterday I hung our "Trick or Treat Here!!!" sign on the door, and in two hours I had given out (and partially eaten) $15 worth of candy. We have a lot of kids in the neighborhood! Rob was late, so he missed the first half of kids coming, but he called on his way home to make sure I wasn't passing out anything horrible.

"What are we giving out?" he asked.
"raisins and toothbrushes."

I kid. We passed out good, chocolatey "fun size candy bars" (although "fun size" to me always meant a big-ass candy bar, not something you can eat in two bites...but I digress).


Today I went to do laundry at my mom's, and she got me to help her study. She's going to class to become a bartender, so I helped her remember the different recipes for things, and we made up a song to help her with the proper set-up of a back bar. It was like a reverse AA meeting: we were singing all about "Gin and Whiskey, Rum and Bourbon". She said I was a great study aid. "I'm really good at pouring shots!" she said, beaming with pride.

Surprise, surprise.

For Halloween, my mother was a witch. (Insert smart-ass comment here.) My dad, was, well... see for yourself. Believe it or not, my parents are Republicans.
Hello there, big boy!

This is the stuff nightmares are made of. I wonder how much they'll pay me to not mail this picture to his parents?

Dear Grandma and Papa,
Bad news. I know you've been worried for years about that other son of yours, but the truth needs to be known. This is your cross-dressing son. We, as his family, love him, and accept his new lifestyle, and we hope you will too. Let us not love only that which we understand, but embrace everyone placed in our lives with equally open arms. I'm pretty sure it says something like that in your Bible. See you soon!

Love, Amber
P.S. He really prefers if you call him "Stacy" now. Thanks!

This should make Christmas much more interesting.