Ah Toby

My biological father called me. He's odd, and I have kind of an odd relationship with him. That's a whole other story. Anyhow, this is how our conversation went:

"So does he beat you?"

"Does who beat me?"

"Your boyfriend."

"Um. No."

"Ok, because they always say that the father is the last person to know."

"Are you kidding me?"

Later he asked me how long it would be until I gave him grandchildren.

"Oh, I guess, about eight months now."


"Just kidding."

"Are you sure?"


"I have to go. Call me if you need anything."

Mom, really, I like existing, but SERIOUSLY what were you thinking?