A Suspicion

I'm pretty sure that there's a diuretic in movie theater soda. It's an extremely rare occurrence when I make it through an entire movie without getting up to pee. If I do, I have to go so bad by the time the credits start rolling that I'm foaming at the mouth and clawing other movie-goers out of my way to get to the john.

Friday night I peed post-movie and timed it. 47 seconds! That's probably something like 5 times my normal tinkle time! They've got to be spiking the soda. That way you miss part of the movie and want to go see it again. Pivotal plot twists, steamy love scenes, heart-wrenching speeches; you risk missing them all if you get up, even for just a minute (or 47 seconds).

Some scientist (Mike) should test the soda; I'll bet I'm right.