From Pratt!

My uncle once:
hanged himself from a tree.

Never in my life:
have I seen someone oblivious to the damage he has done. You're the rotted root in the family tree... sorry, Dream Theater moment.

When I was five:
my mom got righteously knocked up, and now I have a kid brother.

High School was: blury; I kind of managed to block most of it.

I will never forget: driving into a tree.

I once met: A transvestite who wanted a Mary Kay makeover.

There's this girl I know who:
Has a piercing in her cleavage.

Once, at a bar: I showed the bartender my bra. Stew was there.

By noon I'm usually: thinking about breakfast.

Last night: I crawled into bed with poor Byron and slept until noon. I wasn't making it down two flights of stairs.

Next time I go to church I: will wish I hadn't.

Terry Schiavo: should have made a living will.

When I turn my head left, I see: A guy weed whacking outside.

When I turn my head right, I see: The vacuum cleaner.

You know I'm lying when: I say "I'm lying". Otherwise, you'll never be able to tell.

What I miss most about the eighties: Being small enough to lay down in resturant booths.

If I was a character written by Shakespeare, I'd be: Witch #2.

By this time next year: my bed will hopefully not be in the basement.

A better name for me would be: Girl Who Drives Bad Cars.

I have a hard time understanding: why people think Bush is wonderful.

If I ever go back to school I'll: get a degree making me, I think, one of the first in our family.

You know I like you if: I'm willing to cook you grilled cheese or scrambled eggs.

If I won an award, the first person I'd thank would be: My own damn self. I want to hear someone say that at the Oscars or something. "I want to thank myself for getting out of bed every day".

Darwin, Mozart, Slim Pickens, and Geraldine Ferraro: sound like drinks you can make with pineapple juice.

Take my advice, never: ever have sex in a moving vehicle.

My ideal breakfast is: coffee.

A song I love, but do not have is: With the friends I have, and iTunes, this question null and void.

If you visit my hometown, I suggest: You just keep moving. There's not much to see.

Tulips, character flaws, microchips, and track stars: would be fun all together in a musical.

Why won't anyone: tell me what "Dig a Pony" means?

If you spend the night at my house, don't: mind the mess.

I'd stop my wedding for: a cheating discovery.

The world could do without: Policial showmanship.

I'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: eat cat poo.

My favorite blonde is: mom!

Paper clips are more useful than: dashboard hula girls.

If I do anything well, it's: write an essay.

The last time I was drunk, I: thought everything was funny. This was last night.

And, by the way:
Toffee chip cookies from Stew Lenoards are awesome. I bought a bunch.