Fun with Barbie

I worked my first morning shift at Starbucks. Five fucking thirty. I'm exhausted, and my brain is numb. It's probably why I found the following so hilarious.

I went to the mall today. There's an elevator, it's glass, it's in the middle of a huge opening with a gigantic fountain, and just a glance will tell you that obviously only goes between two floors. I got in at the top floor. I was joined by a couple of Junior Barbies. Blonde and freakishly skinny, they were housed in a cloud of, you guessed it!, "Baby Prostitute" smell. The "I'm too cool" attitude barely fit in the elevator.

I turned to them, smiled, and asked "Are you ladies going up or down?"

"Um, you can only go down in this elevator if you're on this floor." She rolled her over-eyelinered eyes at me. Neither of them said "duh", but the sentiment was there.

"I know," I told her. "It was a joke."

They looked at me like I was insane.

At 23, I have, apparently, become the weird stranger in the mall your mother warned you about.