Smooth it out now!

My friend Najla lives in the woods Connecticut is famous for. I was taking her home tonight, and I was super nervous. We made it thorough the main roads alright, although the car fishtailed a bit, but once we got to the more remote areas, I kept sliding off the road. I gave up when I had her mostly home, and we decided to have Aunt Freddie (Najla lives with her) come down so my poor car wouldn't have to brave the last leg of the ride to their house: the mountain. I turned the car around in front of someone's house; they were outside snow-blowing, and Najla asked to use their phone (my cell phone was MIA).

In turning, I slid right into a snow bank against a phone pole, blocking the driveway. I threw the car in reverse. My tires spun. I turned the wheel all the way right, then all the way left. I put it in drive. I turned the wheel some more. I put it back in reverse. I got nothing but the "grrrrugh!" sound of tires.

I reached for my cell phone (it was "hiding" in a remote pocket of my purse). Meanwhile, the two ladies that live in the house are trying to shovel me out, Aunt Freddie shows up and gets out to have a look, Najla's hopping around the car and they're all discussing the best possible way to get it out of the snow bank. I figured I should get out, too, although, by this time, I was slightly annoyed. I had it under control. No sweat. I was handling it the way I handle all tragedies major and minor with "the Cavity"... Triple A. Actually, I was going to have myself flat-bedded home to avoid driving. Who's a brat princess? Me. I don't care. Snow is scary.

One of the ladies looks at me and says "So, how are you at driving?"

"Shit, actually." I said, and pointed out all the dents in my car. It's not called "the Cavity" for nothing. It looks like a gigantic tooth that needs a couple of fillings. (Hey, I work for a dentist. It's all I got.)

So Aunt Freddie hops in the driver's seat, the other lady who lives in the house (I think they were a couple) puts gritty stuff under each tire, and we all pushed the car out. It was much faster than triple A, and I made it home alive.

Actually, driving in the snow was fun after a few minutes of getting used to it. I felt really bad-ass trying to keep control of the car while it was spinning all over, and I even blasted music (Naughty by Nature's "Hip Hop Hooray", and then some Nirvana). By the time I got home I was pumped! Other people were slid all off the road. A guy in a pickup truck cut off a Honda Civic. A skinny white girl leapt out, purple-lighted cell phone in hand, and started screaming about how she was calling the police. The driver screamed back at her "Fine! Call them! You're driving like a maniac!" So intense! So angry! But not me. I slid, slipped and twisted my gnarly self all the way home. Hip Hop Hooray for me.