Inside Looking Out

Something happened last night, and, despite that fact that, for the past four years, I've blogged nearly ever major thing that's happened to me, this wasn't going to be written down, less I be unable to move on. But, being that I appear to be unable to move on anyway (you'll see.), I'm going to write.

I heard gun shots out of the window quite clearly last night, but I didn't get alarmed initially, because, who actually HEARS GUNSHOTS outside of their window? Not me. They happened again, and I realized that I should probably move. I scooped up Tino, while the older two dogs came willingly to the back of the apartment, and the five of us huddled, and waited.

Within moments, police cars started streaming down the streets, and all of our neighbors started to come out of their houses. We went to the second-story front window to see clearly down the street; one man lay dead right in front of the corner store. I've never seen a dead body in the streets before.

We went outside to join the neighbors, but eventually there was nothing to do, and we all went back in.

Today I was supposed to meet Rob for lunch and help him pick out glasses, and then go with him after work to the Apple store. I got dressed and got as far as the front door, and broke down. I couldn't go out. I kept trying (and I'm not stupid, I know physically I could) but I just couldn't do it.

I've been in all day (Rob had to send me photos of his choices in the eyeglasses store and we picked them that way.) I took a nap, I read some things online, and then I took another nap. I can't bring myself to leave. I think the dogs have to go out, but they're out of luck until Rob gets home.

I feel like I'm going to be inside for a while.