Scammy Organic

So, while we're on the subject of Republicans...

I have a friend that I love dearly, and she has a husband who I also love dearly. They are really, really, really right-wing Republicans, and that's fine because my big rule in life is, "You can be my friend if you're nice." Or, like Dickenson said, "Friendship? Yes, please."

I pride myself on not one of those liberals who says "Accept people the way they are!" and then makes all sorts of exceptions that go, basically, " long as they're liberal, too, and we agree on most things and can mutually masturbate our elitist, liberal ideals together and disagree on the thinnest membranes of inconsequential matters and then pat ourselves on the back for accepting those differences and calling it 'diversity'."

So I have really Republican friends. Fine, there's plenty of things we can talk about without bringing up how big of a doucebag I think Bush is, and them not bringing up how Obama is the spawn of Satan.

This has worked well in the past, but recently it seems like they've been bashing things that I care about in front of me when they come over, and I'm not sure why, and I honestly don't know how to handle it, either. I'm late to the game of "learning to disagree" because I grew up in a household where "Disagreeing with mom" meant I was a REBELLIOUS TEENAGER! and a SINNER! I did a lot of shrugging and appearing to agree just to keep myself from being turned into a human punching bag and having to endure the verbal and physical abuse that came from HAVING MY OWN THOUGHTS and EXPRESSING THEM. Which is why when, after proudly spreading out my 70-80% organic barbecue on Saturday, I kind of balked and didn't know what to say when she piped up, "You know that organic products are a total scam!"

I don't even think she meant to be malicious, but it was hurtful. Her husband has made fun of some of the earth-friendly things I've done in the past, too. I understand that not everyone believes in "Going Green" and that, the more conservative you are politically, the greater your tendency is to resist "being earth friendly". (Although, like Ami once said, I'd like to believe that doing things that are "earth friendly" are things that don't have anything at all to do with politics and are things that everyone can agree on.) But when you're in my house, eating my organic food, can't you not criticize it? I stuffed my entire fist into my mouth and didn't say a goddamn word when I saw the shelf in their living room devoted to Ann Coulter. YOU KNOW I WANTED TO PICK ON THE COULTER!

It's time to start arming myself with witty comebacks.