How To Ruin An Eighty Dollar Skirt

There are lots of rules on the beach, but one of them is NOT "Do not ruin your skirt." So I'm alright.

As penance for making us sit through the "theater" (shit*) that we sat through on Friday night, Jared invited us to his parent's house for a Labor Day barbecue. I love this because it means 1. Friends! Rob's friends are good folks, so I like hanging out with them. When we first started dating I didn't think I'd like his group of friends, but I am pleasantly surprised that I do, very much. 2. Food! It's always amazing at their house. 3. Drinks! They have a full bar with just about everything you'd want to use to mix up a drink, frozen or on the rocks. We ate and drank a lot. 4. The ocean! I've said it before, I think, but they have a house RIGHT on the water which is amazing to me, because I've never looked out of a window and seen nothing but ocean before. It literally goes, in one straight line: their house, narrow street, dunes, sand, ocean, Venezuela.



(I got as far as the ocean.) I later found out that Keith and Heater were surprised I was so excited by the Atlantic, until Rob pointed out that I grew up looking at Long Island Sound... the Atlantic is definitely an upgrade.

This is Keith and Heather.

"Hi!" "Hi."
They're getting married next year, too, in July, just before us. We have 363 days to go! Our -1 Anniversary just passed on the 1st of September.

Anyway, I was so excited by the ocean, I ran in, and the waves were so strong (thanks Ernesto!**)that they got my skirt wet even though I was holding it aloft. So I just dropped it and gave in and let it get soggy, and jumped in the waves up to my knees, expensive skirt and all.


It'll wash, and I never get to play in the ocean like that, so it was worth it.
Clearly Rob doesn't share my enthusiasm for freezing cold ocean. (Also, kindly excuse the Afro. Black people aren't supposed to go near the ocean for this reason right here. I look like a half white, super-gummy myopic version of Buckwheat.)


"We grew up on Long Island. The ocean is not exciting. We're snobby."***

*It was shit except the parts Jared was in. Those were brilliant.
** The storm, not the dictator.
***They're not actually snobby.