Why Do You Send a Camel to Bed?

My future brother-in-law to Rob, about his bachelor party:

"...I already booked that great group..."Hooker, Strippers and Whores". I think they are a jazz group."

Um. No.

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Last night we had Maria Mulder to the theater, and she was a hoot! Apparently there was an issue with the sound, so Rob had a rough night, but as the hospitality, I had a lot of fun. She breezed backstage with the confidence people have when they're used to being catered to and immediately stuck her nose in the vase full of daffodils we had put out for her. "Oh I just love daffodils!!!" she said. I got dinner for the band, made coffee for the band and got espresso shots for Maria ("You know the way to her heart!" said the band), ran to get dinner for the crew, ran next door to the snooty french resturant to borrow their pepper grinder ("Hav eet baak en fieve menets or else!" said the snooty maitre d) and then organized the ushering staff and got them rolling. The band decided I was sweet and adoptable, so threatened to take me to Toronto with them, and mock pouted when I told them that the sound guy got to keep me.

I decided to hang out backstage almost all show and flip through bridal magazines, so I was able to relax and listen to the music by myself. I did sneak out for "Midnight at the Oasis" though. The only reason I know that song is because my mother tells me the story of my father being drunk and standing on a table belting out that song... in the middle of a restaurant. It was really popular in the dark

After the show she asked me to carry stuff out to her RV for me; the RV is bigger than our apartment...and nicer, too! On my second trip out, Maria told me to sit for a minute and grabbed a CD and signed it for me; then she signed a picture for the above mentioned drunk father which meant that I, somehow, got out of cleaning up the theater. THAT was the best part.