#87, Staplers

My grandfather had this huge, big ass stapler, the Caddy of staplers, if you will, and when I was nine, I used it to drive one of the whopping huge, "I can staple through the phone book" staples through my thumb. He pulled out for me while I screamed and cried like little girls are prone to do during such events, and when he had it out, he offered me a drag of his cigarette to calm my nerves.

Yeah, it was my mom's dad.

Now I'm terrified of staplers. Well, not really. They're fine if they just sit there; it's not like I go "AHHH! A SWINGLINE!" and run, but I really prefer paperclips.

Go ahead. I know I just said "Swingline", so I'll wait while you quote Office Space.

Anyway, all that to say this: it's reason number 87 why I don't like having an office job. And the list grows.