Turn or Burn!

Happiness is...?

Apparently, the answer is "a choice". So said the congregation when the pastor asked them this morning. Right on cue, all 200 parishioners piped in their answer in unison.

I said "a warm gun".

This is why I don't belong in church. But I went this morning, bright and early, as a special birthday present for Grandma. The message was alright; the pastor is a brilliant public speaker (which is the last thing I was supposed to get out of going). I missed most of the message, though, because I was engrossed (emphasis on gross) in watching my cousin, age 10, dig around in her nose and eat what came out.

I did hear the pastor say "Turn or burn!" I laughed, thinking he was making a joke, but he was dead serious.

Next year, I'm buying Grandma flowers.