The One with the Messy Food Stories

This week was much more mellow than Monday was, thank God! Today, I feel ready to take on tomorrow, which is another early day in pediatric dentistry on Park Ave. Apparently, they have me working Mondays, now, which works for me for the time being.

Since I neglected updating more or less, here are the highlights and lowlights of my week... because you care.

Wednesday night at a diner in Fairfield, Najla and I were seated booth back to booth back to three really cute, dimple faced, really bratty, fun to watch but I'm glad they aren't mine four-year olds. At first, they were just peeking over at us, and making faces, which was funny. Then, they decided to make a game out of launching spaghetti over the back of the booth onto our table, my clothes... and my hair.

Wednesday's spa outing: My mother got me a "Day of Beauty" gift certificate almost a year ago for my birthday, and I finally used it. The massage was wonderful, but the facial was brutal. The woman pulls this ginormous mirror over my face and goes "Mm. Blackheads." (Mind you, I take really good care of my skin and if I have blackheads, they're TINY and can be left the hell alone, thank you very much). She squeezed out every single one she found with her finger nails. No professional tool, no special strips or machine, which would have been appropriate... oh no. She used her fucking bright-pink, fake acrylic fingernails. I was in agony. When she got to my nose... ugh! I almost walked out, but I was naked except for a towel and my hands were covered in oil and stuffed in some weird heated pod things... I couldn't escape! (I guess I could have, but it would have made for an awkward moment getting up).

Plus, she was touching my nose, wiggling it around and pressing really hard. I can barely blow my nose because I hate it wiggled around (the feeling is disgusting) and here she was pressing on it with enough force to make it feel like it was breaking. That was pretty bad.

My mini-fiesta last night was fun. I got to meet Byron's Melanie, the girl who dated him in high school. (!!!) She was adorable and made playdoh sculptures for me. Patrick and Najla spent about an hour making out in my guestroom, while Phil and I contemplated ways to fuck with them. (In the end we decided to be grown-ups and left them alone.) The entire party revolved around the fact that I made a cake. I just put it on the table and passed out forks; no plates allowed. I do this to encourage "guest interaction", promote the "commuity feel" of the party...and to get great pictures. When the day comes that I'm too old to serve dessert this way, I will be sad.

I swear it's not because I'm lazy and don't want to wash a bunch of plates.

It was a white cake, but then I didn't have frosting, so I put cool whip in the middle of the two layers and Hershey's syrup on top. It looks pretty good, yeah?