Preparing for Menses

Thanks to Judy Blume, I now know exactly how to prepare for my first period, provided that it happens in 1971.

Getting snowed in with the old bag wasn't so bad; she cooked up a storm, and now there is lasagna and chocolate cake. I popped open a bottle of merlot and made my way though half of it before I passed out and woke up with a hangover and purple lips.

We all have our ways of being productive.